Mom's garden, mostly

Well, it's official; the blog has travelled to Annecy, France, and the greater reaches of Pennsylvania. Fantastic! I'm so bad, I'm nationwide!

While I appreciate the comments that have been posted re: things I fear, particularly the bears, I don't think you people really get the nature of said fears, because you have been deluded by bear propaganda. Apparently, this is how you perceive the ursine enemy:

My friends, except for the koala, who I'll deal with later, this is NOT an accurate portrayal of bears. Starting long before the semi-moronic Winnie, and extending well beyond the post-modern robot bear I saw in a zoo-themed episode of "The Jetsons" (or, did I just dream that one?), the media has portrayed the "assassins of the forest" as cuddly, mankind-loving animals, who, in the case of Smokey, will go so far to ensure our well-being that they will even try to save us from ourselves. The powerful political action committee PAC (Pooh-Bear Advancement Coalition) has had America's journalists in its pocket for years, even buying the soul of Theodore Roosevelt for the price of a cute plush toy bearing has name. Don't believe the hype, rock-blogstahs! Bears are huge, honey-driven, homicidal maniacs! They are NOT interested in us for anything other than appetizers! They don't differentiate between say, Albert Einstein and a LuAnn Platter. Even the adorable koala is not what he appears to be; they are the crack whores of the animal kingdom, strung out on eucalyptus, all pissed off and vicious when they fall out of a tree because they are so wasted they can't hold on any longer, not even with their specially adapted claws! So don't tell me, Shansta, Eduardo (if those are your real names!) and all the rest of you, not to worry! I live in the world of reality, and, to paraphrase the words of Eric Cartman, cartoon prophet, "You will respect my realitah!!!"

I think it is obvious that nature is everywhere and that it is out to get us. I don't want to say I told you so, but I did just do a piece on the pterodactyl mosquito, and days later the newspaper reported something about how the insects had been injecting themselves with West Nile Virus in order to spread the disease. Though animals will claim they have nowhere else to go because we "species-centric" humans keep tearing down their natural habitat to build evermore obnoxious McMansions, I resent the fact that I keep receiving emails from concerned tax-payers (do bears pay taxes? I think not!) who are worried about bands of foxes, bobcats, squirrels and pigeons who are taking over our neighborhoods. (Full disclosure: I haven't actually received that many emails about the squirrels and pigeons, but open your eyes, people! They're everywhere!) However, it's not really my responsiblilty to educate you about the ways of wild. You'll come around.

I meant to write today's entry about my mom's garden. I guess it's just as well that now I'm exhausted and can't continue on, because my sister told me that the photos were BO-RING. You be the judge. I'm going to take a nap.

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This is a picture of Eduardo, cyberstalkers. Get him!